Publisher: Image Comics
Writer: James Tynion IV
Artwork: Michael Walsh
Colours: Jordie Bellaire
Letters: Becca Carey
Release Date: 14th May 2025

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Exquisite Bodies delivers, in its bumper issue debut, a heady mix of cult ’80s action movie stylings, conspiracy, and gladiatorial flair. If the world, or at least the good ole US of A, is indeed run by a shadowy cabal of rich, powerful families, how do said families decide who’s top dog, as well as get their kicks? How about finding a secluded town, cutting off its already poor links to the outside world, and then setting loose a champion in sporting fight to the death where winner takes all. With over the top assassins, hit-men, psychos, and stone cold hired guns, what about the every day common folks and town residents caught up in the mix? Well Exquisite Corpses has all this covered and more!

Way back when in the late 1700s, thirteen rich and powerful families seized the power behind the royal throne, and wrested control of the fledgling states. After decades of internal bickering, they settled who would control the others by having champions battle it out until only one remains. This tradition continues on Halloween night every five years. To add spice, the chosen from each family are allotted a weapon, or means of mayhem, by drawing one of twelve cards, each representing one of the original weapons. As to the discrepancy between thirteen families and twelve competing, well we need to read more to answer that.

Anyhoo, the stage is set. Oak Valley, ME. A small town in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by forest with few roads in or out. Its Halloween night, and the town go about their business, prepping for tricks and treats in the evening ahead. In reference to the 80s movie stylings earlier, there of course has to be a traditional party where all the youngsters of the town gather to celebrate and get rowdy in their costumes.

We’ve got the young couple babysitting for the single mom stuck in a crappy job with even worse boss. There’s the geeky gas station clerk deep down the conspiracy podcast rabbit hole as well as the paramedic with a tough exterior but no doubt soft interior brimming with civic duty. And this is even before getting into the cast of killers! With so many to go through it seems a disservice to even try and sum up in a short review how wacky, varied, and engaging the cast here is.

If the story idea, which in of itself is perhaps not exactly novel but definitely well delivered and entertaining, wasn’t enough, nor the characters being so darn engaging each with their own tale to tell, then the art surely swings this towards a must read.

Walsh et al manage to consistently hit every panel with either well defined characters or subtle backdrops and scene setting. In the nicest possible way, what starts as relatively safe, tried and tested style, is kicked out of the way with eye popping neons and flashes to introduce each families’ champ. I get the feeling the team where having with this and tongues seem firmly in cheek. From here, things ramp up with plenty of bloody and gory splashes. All the while juxtaposed with alternative scenes delivering exposition of just what the heck is going on. The foot is firmly on the accelerator and I was disappointed when the pages ended; albeit with a snazzy tournament wallchart which for some reason made me think of the big one in the All Valley Karate Competition…

I went into this with zero knowledge other than a cracking cover, and the fact I’ve yet to be disappointed by Tiny Onion. There’s so much to enjoy here that its tough to focus in on individual elements. Being overly picky one could argue that there’s perhaps no obvious twist or alternative hook, although some of the tropes have been tweaked. That said, what’s fun is fun, and I certainly had fun reading this.

Rating: 4/5.

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The writer of this piece was: Adam Brown
Adam Tweets from @brother_rooster

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