Publisher: Image Comics
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Chip Zdarsky
Release Date: 13th August 2014
For shame, I read the first couple of issues of Sex Criminals but for some reason (money, time, all that stuff) I never picked up more. Reading issue 7, I’m desperate to rectify that situation. The book has been carried along on some hype, but it’s worth all the buzz. Luckily, in many ways this issue is a catch-up, a pause for breath before the story shifts into a new phase, so I was brought up-to-date with Suzie and Jon. The protagonists have both been living with the knowledge that when they orgasm, time stands still. Each thought they were the only ones with this power, but they collided in a night of drunken passion to find out that they shared The Quiet (or Cumspace, as Jon privately calls it).
This issue has Suzie finally telling her flatmate Rach about her “time-stopping cooch”, while Jon recounts through narration his mis-adventures with the Sex Police. Look, you’re either going to like the sound of that or not, so I’m going to make it a little easier for you. The dialogue throughout Sex Criminals is what really makes it work. Here’s a bunch of quotes from various characters to whet your voracious appetite:
“Freshly-spanked Hellraiser monster.”
“What, like you squirt?” “Well, one time maybe a little.” “One time I queefed so hard I saw the sheer move.”
“(She) talked like a sexy Foghorn Leghorn. That sounds bad when I say it like that.”
“I swear, the velocity and intensity of deviant thoughts that race through my head in the lead-up to coming absolutely startles me when I think back on it.”
With dialogue like that, some beautiful exploration of the futility of orgasm through Jon’s adventures in Cumworld, and a climactic (ha!) Dildo Battle, Fraction is doing something that’s been required of comics for years – he’s making sex fun. Zdarsky’s art gorgeously prevents this from ever seeming sleazy, and the whole thing feels effervescent and fresh, more like the immediate post-coital glow than the cold sweaty comedown.
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